Dear Diary
by hxlsteads
Summary: Set in S3/Post suspected Veronica & Reggie romance. After a long trial and an extended stay locked away, Archie returns home only to find the message he passed on for a broken-hearted girl, had more of an impact on him than he could've ever imagined. But what will it take for forgiveness?


I miss you. Even after replaying those words over and over in my head, my heart still longs for you Archibald Andrews and I don't think it's ever going to stop. People can call it a romance but the only romance I've ever truly felt was with you. The word rebound couldn't even describe what he was because he was nothing. A drunken mistake that old Veronica would've brushed aside as though it were nothing. But it isn't nothing. It's a mistake that I regret and you don't deserve it. Your words hurt me Archie and I guess when you're away it's like I go back to my old ways like nothing ever changed, but you changed me so I guess I should really apologize to myself for putting myself in a position where I shouldn't expect you to forgive me…

Those were the very words etched onto the tattered pages within the book clasped tightly against Veronica Lodge's chest as she approached to door that she knew all too familiarly now. The single words she hand-wrote as tears cascaded down her face with each passing moment, blemishing the ink of previous words until they were almost unreadable. Yet only she wishes this correlated to real life. So her tears can turn her mistakes into a piece of art- I mean, after all, blocking all this out and going back to when it never happened would be a masterpiece in its own right.

But it's never that simple; she can't just cover the way she's hurting behind her smudged mascara. He's back and she's now having to deal with the mess she created, the actions she couldn't take back. She only hoped that her words could somehow account for them. Even in the slightest form.

The fingers of her left hand grew tighter around the only physical depiction of the dark depths of her mind as she tapped lightly against the cold wood, feeling a mixture of the harsh Riverdale winter and a harsh rush of sudden regret beneath the surface of her skin. She no longer felt human, sure she felt the cold, sure she felt pain still- but she felt nothing for herself. To her brain she was nothing more than a glass figure, she can look fine on the outside, disguise herself as this beautiful person yet on the inside she was just hollow. She felt empty within her own thoughts but as the creak of the door pierces the wallowing pity and a brush of warm air tickles her exposed shins she's forced to look up. Look him in the eyes for the first time in nearing forty days. Not that she's been counting.

Archie Andrews. The guy who changed the as quoted 'shallow, toxic rich bitch' into 'the best girlfriend'. 'If only he could take back that given award now' She thought to herself… He still looked the same. The orange tone to his hair illuminated under the warm light Veronica already knew was from his fireplace, his chocolate gaze that still melted her at the core and that stupid green long sleeve that she'd begged him endlessly to get rid of. Then again as she came to think more about it, the more she realized she missed it. Or more so that she missed him. She missed the way his awkward smile laced his features every time they'd kissed, she missed the frequent use of the name 'Ronnie' which only ever sounded good leaving his lips- truthfully; she missed feeling this captivated by a person. But I guess this caught up with her. Seconds passed and not a word was said. Not out of the thousands she'd written since arriving in Riverdale.

"Veronica…"

There it was. The first sound that escaped either of their lips and it had to be that. Her full name; diminished from the nickname she'd grown to adore. But what more can she expect? "Wh- what" Glancing down towards the object Veronica had within her palms, he spoke again. Softly, but with that underlying gruffness to his voice indicating he'd not long woken up.

"You're either about to ask what I'm doing here or what I'm holding and I'm not sure I know a good answer to either," Veronica mutters watching as Archie's face contorts as he tries to find the right words to say next. Who would've guessed it would come to this? A simply flowing conversation being lost in a sea of unexplained moments and unanswered questions.

"Both." he breathes a quick response, following his gaze back up to meet her eyes once more.

She huffed, releasing the pent-up pressure of the book against her chest as she outstretches her arm towards him. Archie's body shifted awkwardly as her fingers swept unintentionally against his chest as he motioned to take the object for his own and she couldn't help but notice. "It's a diary. My diary. Four hundred and eighty-four days worth."

He swallows hard, flicking through the pages nonchalantly with a slight hesitation leaving Veronica on edge. She just needed him to say something-anything and she held her breath for what felt like an eternity before he did murmur the slightest, "Ronnie…"

It wasn't much but sure she'd take it. She'd take hearing that word any day as long as it came from him and only him. Her knight in shining armor; her broad shoulder to cry on. Yet it would never come without consequence; usually much nicer than the onslaught of tears that she was trying so hard to battle but whatever.

"Ron," he heaved again, anticipation hitting Veronica like a ten tonne of bricks as she awaited for the first step into probably one of the deepest conversation she was ever going to have. "I don't understand."

Veronica immediately goes to speak yet cannot find the words, frozen in time and she couldn't even break the ice to close her mouth and regather her thought. She just had to go for it. Take the dive straight into the murky depths. "I-" she begins, "I've been writing ever since I moved here. Every day until I ran out of pages but no-one knew because truthfully I was afraid Archie. Not of what people would think but because every single page I poured my heart out to you."

"I never wanted to hurt you," he says, pressing his palms to his eyes. "Veronica," He stutters with every syllable and Veronica swears she'd never seen him look this vulnerable. But then again it was a rare occasion Archie ever shared his true emotions.

"I was so scared of getting my heart broken. Like all the times before. But they meant nothing compared to the boy in this book. And after your dad came to me and told me we were done and you didn't want me to visit anymore I thought I could just toss everything like I did before but I just can't. Not with you." Veronica explains as she stares at his evidently tense muscles. Ones that she could see so clearly now even through the thick cotton of his shirt. That had so much as doubled in size since his incarceration.

"It's my fault V–"

"It's just not! I spent so long running from the way you made me feel that I never got to say half the things I have written in that stupid journal. And now I know it doesn't matter anymore after everything that's happened but I needed you to know." Veronica stammers out; not even knowing half the pleads rolling off her tongue. She just couldn't hold it in anymore… As much as she tried to; she wanted to she just couldn't uphold that strong front she'd so effortlessly put up during her early days in the town. Pearl-like pendants cascaded one by one down the apples of her cheeks, not an inch of the strength she could muster up in the morning in sight. At this point, Veronica Lodge couldn't care less about the reputation of her family name she was to uphold. She never did care around Archie. But she cared even less now knowing full well she had not a lot left to lose.

Dragging her thumbs underneath her eyes, puffy not from the sudden wetness that drowned the area but the sleepless nights that accompanied every evening since her world broke; she took one last breath of air. One last thing to say Veronica just while you're here, she schooled herself before releasing her jaw once again and releasing more and more salty tears with the action, "I never stopped missing you, I don't think I'll ever stop loving you. And I'm sorry."

After finishing her words she promptly turned around, wandering off back into the dark street, the only light being from the flickering street lam a mere yard away. She just couldn't bear to face him any longer, to be there for the onslaught of words thrown her direction, all things defending her when she was so certain she was in the wrong. Archie was clearly cooking u something as he stood stoic, just staring and nothing more. Like his body was cast in stone that you couldn't batter through; much like the established wall he puts up ninety percent of the time.

As she steps weakly further into the fog, fearing the trembling of her knees will collapse her heeled feet she hears her name. A beacon of hope in the form of a whisper. At first, as strange as it sounds she wasn't quite sure if it was real life or all inside her head. Sure Veronica knew it was his voice, she could spot it from ten miles away but Archie grew to be the angel on her shoulder. The voice in her head persuading her to always make the right decisions. To be a better person…

"Veronica." Archie called out after her but the lack of a change of direction either meant she didn't hear him or she didn't want to. But either way, he wasn't going to allow her to just walk away. Not with the only words he's been managing to say in return being her name with the occasional extra syllable scattered here and there. "Wait-" He calls louder, knowing for sure both she and all of his neighbors would've heard him. The cool air brushes against his skin and a lump forms at the back of his throat, hitching any future words as he makes his first physical contact with her in months. Sure he'd seen her, but the hand laced over one another separated by unbreakable glass didn't quite amount to the immediate sparks felt each and every time their skin came into contact. Even only by, clutching his hand around her arm and tugging her slightly to come face to face there was no denying it. The undetermined; unexplainable connection her has with this girl. "I'm sorry. What happened- the fact you kissed Reggie; it's fine."

"It's not." She whimpers. "You can't say that. I kissed that misogynistic pig, one of your best friends and arch-rivals. It can't be fine Archie!"

"Well tough; because I forgive you Ronnie."

"Why." Veronica bawls, her tears now transforming more to resemble a waterfall than the light condensation found on every window pane in a crisp Riverdale October.

Archie gazes at her- strands of her hair that fell perfectly from that middle parting of hers and framed her face becoming waterlogged by her tears. So he does it; bites the bullet and runs his fingers against the softness of her cheeks, clearing away excess dampness as he does so. "Because I love you, Veronica Cecilia Lodge. And because from the moment when I first saw you, I knew you were the one, and because your eyebrow is adorably kinking because you're trying your hardest not to smile right now. And most of all, because the biggest mistake I think I've ever made was breaking things off with you." He begins, rubbing small circles on her face; an embrace worth a lifetime of hurt.

"I love you too. Archibald Andrews." She lets out a shaky breath mid hysterics, before lunging herself into his chest, letting her tears soak the fabric gowning his shoulders. God how long she'd wanted to do this. To take a single moment to breathe in that scent, the same one that had been fading on that one bulldog's shirt she slept with nightly. To hold the boy in the locket that had saved her more times than she can relay. Too deep in her thoughts, she runs her fingers hastily up his chest, the bumps of his chiseled chest making it hard for her to conceal a blush as she wraps her palm around the small silver treasure tied around her neck. Replacing her father's pearls…

But little did she need that anymore. She had everything she wanted; everything she needed. She found in her darkness that she didn't need her fathers love to survive; but she needed the guidance of her greatest love story to show her the way. That's how she was to survive.

Knowing truly it was Archie and Veronica against the world…


End file.
